I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize