wat bout pragnant strippers??
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize