just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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