The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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