I accidentally burped into my bong.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
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There was a lot of him and a little penis
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
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When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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