sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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