I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize