dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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