yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
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