And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
the condom got lost in my hair
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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