so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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