shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
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We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
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