i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
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