Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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