I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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