kristin has been a bad kristin
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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