i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
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