i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize