I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize