hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
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