Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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