You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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