youre lurking in front of me
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
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