Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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