Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
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I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
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The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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