We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
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