There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
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