Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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