my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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