just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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