mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
worst night to have a conscience
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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