i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
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Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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