I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
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