He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize