I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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