I'm going to jail i love you
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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