I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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