shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
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Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
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I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
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