I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize