2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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