All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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