You're so nebulous sometimes
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize