I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
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Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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