the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
i will never coherently bang her
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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