Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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