I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize