you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
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