He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize