New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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