I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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